I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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