dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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