I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
