I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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