i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize