the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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