You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
