I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
