ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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