dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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