He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
