omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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