Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
