i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
