We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
