Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
