I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
