Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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