I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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