It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
