my mouth tastes like poor choices
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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