You're completely useless in the revolution.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
