yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
