is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
