Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
