You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
