Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
