I like to think it a success when the cops are called
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
