why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
that's an acceptable place to lick
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
