we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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