I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
