no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And then he peed in my hair
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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