wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
