glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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