I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do vagina's smell?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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