does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is my gift to your gina
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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