I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
