Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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