Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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