doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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