My brain says no but my pants say off.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize