I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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