Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
