smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
