**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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