I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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