Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
