She just used a chaser for red wine.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize