Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize