there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
