i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Mom said you looked used
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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