He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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