I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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