And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
