sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
