i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
