I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
