I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we're making bets on your personal life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
