sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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