Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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