would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
