fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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